15 October 2014

Domestic Violence Month -- Spotting an Abuser

"A leopard never changes his spots." 
--so states the idiom and which holds true regarding the character of an abuser.

As much as theology and spirituality extends grace towards all, grace is a gift to the repentant -- one who turns away from, ceases to cause harm, and seeks to restore the injured. And then, there is the reality of choices that an abuser makes that makes repentance seem to be a part of the cycle of abuse.  Repentance is not done in words.  Repentance is done through action.

For your abuser to say he's sorry, or for your abuser to tell you she loves you, after putting their fist through your face or your head through the wall -- well, truthfully, that is not repentance.  This is simply the abuser buying time until the next time.  And, you have learned, there is always a next time.  That is, until it is the last time.

You are worth so much more than to be used as a human punching bag.  Whether the abuse comes at you physically, emotionally, sexually, financially, psychologically, or socially, there is a network of providers who are here to help you stay calm, get out, get help, move swiftly, and never look back.

Sure, we are raising awareness, that is to say, training persons not in an abusive relationship to believe you, help you, and equip you to live and thrive and survive abuse.  We have learned, many of us who are survivors, that a leopard never changes his spots.  She just pursues other prey and leaves a trail of brokenness and death in her path.

I hope the last paragraph did not confuse you by interchanging the masculine and feminine pronouns.  I did this intentionally.  Abusers are most often male in a heterosexual relationship; and abusers are comparably equal in same gender relationships.  The harsh truth-- men and women commit abuse and abusive traits are common.

However, this does not have to be your epitaph. 

Call today.  We believe you.

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