No, you are not crazy; or as my abuser would call me "cray-cray". However, the person you love may very well master the art of crazy-making. The insidious subtlety of mental abuse may have you on the couch, on meds, or volunteering for a 72-hour hold just to get a break from your abuser.
No, you are not crazy. You are being emotionally / mentally abused. And, you can be restored.
To determine if you are being abused answer the following questions: When was the last time your partner:
- told you that 'you can't take a joke' or that 'you are too damn sensitive'?
- reminded you of your past failures you intimated to them while being transparent?
- dismissed your accomplishments, goals, plans, or definition of who you are?
- made you feel that they are wiser, smarter, always right in all matters?
- laughed at you; but do not find it funny to laugh at them?
- justified not apologizing for an offense instead of just apologizing to you?
- gave you the silent treatment, withheld sex (except for health reasons), or use affection to get sex?
- did not notice or care how you feel; and did not show empathy or ask questions about your feelings, illness, worry or sudden change of plans?
- told your personal business and shared intimate information about you that you have not approved?
- refused to be accountable with their time and travel, but demands to know your interactions and future plans?
To determine if you are abusing answer the following questions: When was the last time you said:
- But, I have never hit her / him?
- Tell somebody: primary care physician, gynecologist, minister, spiritual leader, a good for you friend, therapist…
- Keep a journal: of feelings, dates, incidents, their actions, your reactions…
- Remember: who you were before being in this relationship, what brought you joy, enjoyment, happiness, fulfillment, peace, pleasure…
- Imagine: set intentions for the life you want to live when you survive leaving…
- Strategize: what does it take for you to walk free -- time, money, relocation, restraining order, speaking up, walking away, volunteering, spiritual practices…
- Attend: give attention to your intentions, every day do something that moves you closer to your whole and stronger self.