Tonight is hard for me, but most of this year has not been. However challenging the challenges. However disappointed my expectations. However betrayed my trust, there were more moments of my being fully present with myself with joy and delight to lament tonight’s reality as if the whole of the year was so terribly miserable.
Tonight is hard for me because the plans I made and the dreams I shared were found to be insufficient for another. Clear that my dreams and plans were not inherently insufficient, their not being found sufficient for another does not diminish them or me as good, viable, profitable, pure, just, equitable, desirable, doable, hopeful and gracefilled. That my plans have changed gives room for perfected plans for my life.
Tonight is hard for me because change happened swiftly and unexpectedly. Tonight is less hard for me because this year with me was wonderful and I find myself looking back and laughing, looking forward and holding on this truth that has never failed me:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." / Jeremiah 29:11
So, honestly, tonight is hard for me, but not impossible or hopeless. And, tonight is less hard for me because the whole of 2011 included many beautiful places that now serve as balm; and because I know the plans I see are myopic on the landscape of the plans God beholds for me in 2012!